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Batman


He never has to worry when deciding what to wear
He wears a little hood so he can skip washing his hair
He takes her to a restaurant, hoping he can win 'er
And always pays for dinner
(Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner!)
BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!

He's got a special batsignal to say "do not disturb"
Afterwards he says "I am not the boyfriend you deserve"
When she asks to cuddle, he just kinda... disappears.
Robin says "He does that". — Why is Robin here?
BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!

He takes you to a secret room underneath his lair
Unless it's going badly then he's needed by the mayor
It's hard to share his bed because it's hanging upside down
Robin seems to manage. Why is Robin still around?
BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!

He's very into latex and he's got a cat suit fetish
His exes include several psychopathic villainesses
He's claiming all the scratching on his back was from a cat
He's blaming Poison Ivy for a scary burning rash
BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!

He uses high-pitched squeaking in the dark to find the clit
But he can't see that the "woman" is just Robin in a wig.
His condoms look like tiny bats, does he know they're painful?
He definitely knows your name, so why's he screaming "Rachel!"
BATMAN! BATMAN! BATMAN!

He lets you use the Batsignal but won't give you his number
He won't say you're his girlfriend, he just calls you "The Girl Wonder"
You'll never meet his mama or his dada-dada-dada,
but you can meet his nana
(Nana Nana Nana Nana Nana!)
BAT-GRAN! BAT-GRAN! BAT-GRAN!

So why not go for
Dinner Dinner Dinner Dinner
Dinner Dinner Dinner with the BATMAN?!