# D&D
We are merry minstrels, a-travelling on tour,
We've defeated many hecklers, now we're bards at level four.
We could sing you songs of monsters that you thought were only myth
But this song tonight is all about the monsters that are shit.
We could sing to you of Dragons or of Giants, but tonight,
We're going to sing about the monsters that are shite. [Owlbear]
The Owlbear is mighty, its ferocity's renowned
you can't sneak attack an Owlbear, cos its head turns right around.
If you meet a roving mauler, cover up your eyes,
You don't want to see this monster from the other side.
The Beholder is an eye with eyes, it's deadly in a fight
But easily defeated if you just switch off the light.
There is just one creature that is too cute to be funny,
ladies and gentlemen, give a big aww for Duckbunny
An Atropal is a zombie fetus risen from the dead
It has no limbs or teeth but it might try to suck your head?
The Grain-Nymph is a sexy field, so men will want to plough her
She's a Nymphograiniac, and when she's grinding she makes flour
The "Giant Space Hamster" may seem silly and surreal,
But when they rule the universe, we'll all be stuck in wheels.
The Giff is proof that at some point a man & hippo mated
Ironically ... this picture's not a GIF, it is a JPEG.
The Gelationous Cube is jelly, if that doesn't make you scared,
Well then, that's why they created the GELATINOUS BEAR.
This topiary monster is a shrubbery so lush,
It serves as a reminder that you ought to trim your bush.
The Mimic is a chest, but they gave it some teeth,
...and now it tries to bite your face off
The Feeder is a sword, but they gave it some teeth,
...and now it tries to bite your face off
The Peltast is a bag - but they gave it some teeth
The Death Linen's a pillow - but they gave it some teeth
The Flannel Beast's a flannel - but they gave it some teeth
The Toothbeast... is teeth... and they gave it more teeth.
You may think that these monsters suck, and they could never harm ya,
But they kill women all the time... cos women don't wear armour.
Women don't wear armour
Women don't wear armour
Women don't wear armour
She should've worn some armour
Women don't wear armour
Women don't wear armour
Someone open an armour shop for women!
We are merry minstrels, a-travelling on tour,
We've defeated many hecklers, now we're bards at level four.
We could sing you songs of monsters that you thought were only myth
But this song tonight is all about the monsters that are shit.
We could sing to you of Dragons or of Giants, but tonight,
We're going to sing about the monsters that are shite. [Owlbear]
The Owlbear is mighty, its ferocity's renowned
you can't sneak attack an Owlbear, cos its head turns right around.
If you meet a roving mauler, cover up your eyes,
You don't want to see this monster from the other side.
The Beholder is an eye with eyes, it's deadly in a fight
But easily defeated if you just switch off the light.
There is just one creature that is too cute to be funny,
ladies and gentlemen, give a big aww for Duckbunny
An Atropal is a zombie fetus risen from the dead
It has no limbs or teeth but it might try to suck your head?
The Grain-Nymph is a sexy field, so men will want to plough her
She's a Nymphograiniac, and when she's grinding she makes flour
The "Giant Space Hamster" may seem silly and surreal,
But when they rule the universe, we'll all be stuck in wheels.
The Giff is proof that at some point a man & hippo mated
Ironically ... this picture's not a GIF, it is a JPEG.
The Gelationous Cube is jelly, if that doesn't make you scared,
Well then, that's why they created the GELATINOUS BEAR.
This topiary monster is a shrubbery so lush,
It serves as a reminder that you ought to trim your bush.
The Mimic is a chest, but they gave it some teeth,
...and now it tries to bite your face off
The Feeder is a sword, but they gave it some teeth,
...and now it tries to bite your face off
The Peltast is a bag - but they gave it some teeth
The Death Linen's a pillow - but they gave it some teeth
The Flannel Beast's a flannel - but they gave it some teeth
The Toothbeast... is teeth... and they gave it more teeth.
You may think that these monsters suck, and they could never harm ya,
But they kill women all the time... cos women don't wear armour.
Women don't wear armour
Women don't wear armour
Women don't wear armour
She should've worn some armour
Women don't wear armour
Women don't wear armour
Someone open an armour shop for women!
