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Jesus Rap


He used to do the fishing until he had a vision
that he'd risen to the tip-top of hip-hop MCs
And now he's on a mission so everybody listen
when he's spitting, he's the lyrical miracle, Jay-Cee.

[J-d-J-J-d Jesus Christ]

Jesus Christ, he gets a bad rap
But you take him to a party? Wine on tap
He's a miracle worker with a bread and fish trick
Absolute legend. Take him on a picnic *

- Give it up for Lent!

He didn't spend money, he kept it in his pocket
Cos JESUS SAVES, and that made him a prophet **
When he didn't wash, that's a "gross prophet"
When he went fishing, that's a "net prophet" **

- Middle-East side.

Same-sex marriage between gay partners
Fine by him - He had two fathers *
Kissed by a man, just before he died
He didn't like sin, but he bloody loved Pride.

- This one goes out to all my disciples!

Then he's on the mount, delivering a sermon,
"I believe the lord is our benevolent Herdsman!
I believe in the divinity of every person!"
He also believed that his mother was a virgin

BOOM SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE WOMB!
BOOM SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE THE WOMB!

CHORUS

At the last supper he said: "I'm going to feed y'all,
See this glass of red? It's what I bleed y'all,
and this slice of bread is like my meat y'all!"
Then they ate - no-one touched the meatballs. *
...they were testicles
...didn't eat yoghurt either - not kosher

CHORUS

R-d-r-r-d Resurection!