This is rock. And f*cking roll.
Only it's not. It's Jollyboat.
We came here to ROCK! Your f*cking soul.
But all we've got. Is cheesy jokes.
We're like rockstars - we go on late whenever we play live.
Unlike rockstars we're just hoping some more audience arrive.
Before our gigs the lim-ou-sine pulls up outside
and the ladies start sc-reaming - the hen party's arrived.
We play festivals - like Guns n Roses, Aerosmith and Kiss,
Where the ladies throw their underwear and bottles of their piss.
Then it's back onto the tour bus cos we've got another gig,
and a super saver megabus to Scunthorpe's 15 quid
One day we'll be famous and you'll see us on TV.
Britain's Got Talent. Front Row seats.
We've got 5 star reviews from ThreeWeeks and FringeReview,
So if you don't like us, we don't care, pretentious students do.
There's no security keeping fans away; or fans, last time I checked.
We don't set fire to our guitar; though it's a popular request.
We don't do pyrotechnics; that would cost us twenty quid,
Before you ask, we don't sign boobs; we wish we did!